Erin McLean's Beijing 2008

One step too short

And it's over. Four years with a team, representing your country internationally, traveling the world, playing a sport you love...it all comes down to seven innings. I knew we couldn't extend our Olympics forever but when the final out came and went a part of me screamed "let's see if they'll play us again". Softball has always been fun for me. I don't think I would have played as long as I have if it wasn't. But to have it be over, is truly a sad time.

We came out hard against the Aussies and we knew we were in for a fight. I'd like to think they underestimated us. We showed them what we already knew, that we could hit the best pitching in the world and that we could make it very hard for them to put runs on the board. The lead was ours until the 4th inning and unfortunately we just didn't have enough to push a couple across when it really counted.

Over the past four years the Team Canada Softball program has come a long way. It started in Athens where the Canadian team beat Japan 1-0 in their final game of the 2004 Olympics. People's eyes were opened and we realized that we could be a contender the next time around. During this Olympic cycle we placed in the top three at three of four Canada Cup tournaments and we qualified for the Olympics with a 5th place finish at World Championships in 2006. We bettered that standing by beating the Japanese and the Aussies in the Australian Cup this year. We also came second to China in the China Cup this fall. We have a silver Pan American medal from 2007 and a gold medal from the World University Games held last August in Thailand. Twice we took home the Bronze medal from the US World Cup. This success prepared us for the challenges of the Olympic tournament. As much as this success has meant, I know that I speak for my entire team when I say that the podium we missed is the one that hurts the most.

After the game our head coach spoke to our work ethic and determination. We left our guts on the field. We played with heart, passion and commitment. We truly believed we could do it. Success at this level still requires that bit more though. We were sloppy at times, we hit into plays instead of making things happen. There's room to grow...and after coming fourth we know that this program will continue to compete and win on the world stage for years to come. Our team did something no other Canadian softball team has ever done. We earned a spot in the medal round. We were in unchartered territory and we came so close to getting it done. That's something to hold on to...

I spent the morning with my family and this evening I will join my team at Canada House where we will have a dinner and remember all the good times. I'm sure it won't be the last time I see these amazing women but when I board my flight to go home on the 25th I'm sure it's the last time we will all be in the same place at the same time (unless someone is already planning a reunion! ) These girls have been my family, my support system and one of the key components to why my love of softball has continued to grow. I can't imagine sharing this experience with a more diverse, energetic and enthusiastic group of people. I'm already getting too sappy for my own good so I should cut this short here :)

I would like to thank durhamregion.com and the Whitby/Oshawa This Week for making this blog possible. It's been a way for me to communicate with my family and friends and a way for so many people to learn about my sport and have their own taste of an Olympic experience. It's a keepsake I'll cherish so thank you very much.

Thank you again to all those who posted. You have made me smile countless times on this journey and I look forward to telling you so in person!

Finally I'd like to say hello to my mom! I'm coming home soon so you better be ready for me ha ha. I love you very much and I can't wait to see you.

Thank you for reading.

Yours in Softball,

Erin McLean #20

Second Tournament

So here we are, the day before the first playoff game. Team Canada Softball will face off against Australia tomorrow and the winner will be guaranteed a medal and a spot in the semi final.  Despite losing to Japan last night, we were assured a position in the game when Australia beat Venezuela (seems as though the softball gods are still smiling on us).

I've heard from many different coaches over the years that the second tournament is the most important tournament. You can have a perfect record in pool play and when it comes to the playoff round you can completely choke. My dad's been joking with me all week that the Canadian softball team is like the New York Giants of last year's super bowl. After some pretty serious losses, people aren't really considering us a factor. They would be wrong. We are a good team and although our statistics as of late haven't shown that to be true, when it comes time to play we are right there with the best of them. So here's to another upset...to Eli Manning coming through in the clutch one more time...and to Team Canada Softball earning Canada its first team medal at a Summer Olympic Games in more than thirty years. The stats really don't matter, it's all about the team, the support and the love of the game. Second Tournament: Most Important Tournament! Game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

Own the Podium

It's been a tough two days on the field. We've had some later games and we've spent the mornings preparing, watching game tape and getting rested up. That hasn't left a lot of time for blogging...although I'm glad I waited until now to post. It gives me the opportunity to lay out Team Canada Softball's situation in its entirety...so here goes!

After a tough 2-0 loss to Venezuela, followed by a 4-0 loss to the Aussies in which we really left everything on the field, we're in a bit of a predicament. With one game left in the tournament, the fight for a top four position could go one of three ways:

1) The Aussies could beat Venezuela, ensuring us a top four spot

2) Venezuela could beat the Aussies, knocking us out of the playoff round

OR my favourite

3) We could take it to Japan tonight at 5:00pm and seal our own fate

We have a big game tonight but this is exactly what we've been preparing for over the last year. Every practice during our centralization we would have an "own the podium" session. It would be five minutes of do or dies. Suicide bunts, ground ball go's with runners on base, fielding drills, do-overs, whatever it would take. Unlike normal practices, you didn't just do the drill until you got it right. You had one shot at it and no matter the outcome, that's what we would go home on. Beating China 1-0, on home soil, at the Olympic Games was our first step towards the podium. Now we need to seal the deal by getting ourselves into the playoff round. We've stumbled along the way but we are NOT beaten. Not by a long shot.

We have been playing solid defense, our pitchers have been doing their job and we're hitting...just right at people. That can only last for so long. Don't worry friends--even I'm making my fair share of solid contacts :) The way I see it, we've prepared for this moment, we play for this moment and we love the opportunity of this moment. So let's go out and get it...

Here we go Canada: GAME ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

A Very Big Day

Team Canada Softball had a big day on the diamond. We faced China this morning in front of a rowdy crowd. Not to worry, our Canadian cheering section did a great job of holding their own. The game was close the whole way. We went ahead 1-0 in the top of the sixth on an outfielding error that allowed Jen Yee to get all the way around the bases. An infield the park homerun! Well...sort of :) Then in the bottom of the seventh, everything that could have gone wrong did...

The inning started with a double, then an error, then we intentionally loaded the bases. Three runners on, the winning run at second base, none out. Not an ideal situation. There we were, knowing full well that in order to be in consideration for a spot in the playoff round we needed to beat China...and we were not making things easy on ourselves.

It's funny when I think back to all the mental training sessions I've been to. Sometimes you just aren't in the mood to be lectured. You're sitting there thinking "I'll probably never use this stuff". Wow is that ever wrong. I was deep breathing, using my focal point and talking to the other position players every single pitch. It was the most intense softball I've ever played. I loved it! When the game was over, and we had successfully gotten all three outs without China scoring (YES!!!) we all talked in the player room about how many of our sport psychologist's techniques we actually used. It was comical really but so important that when it came down to the clutch, we had something to go to. A big thanks to Ken Ravizza on that one!

We had some time off before our next game against the US. We came out hard, playing some solid defense and shutting them down for two innings. Then after a couple of errors, and good hits on their part, the floodgates opened. You can't give any team an inch, let alone a mile in this tournament. We lost the game but came away with a valuable lesson about how important it is not to beat yourself. We cost ourselves that game by giving away some key momentum shifts and by not taking better control after errors. We won't always be perfect in the field, but we should always be in full control of how we react to the situation.

I had a great day on defense today...which felt good considering that as my Uncle Andre put it "my bat is cold". He is so right and I'm debating whether I should sleep next to it tonight or rent a heater for my room to try and get it going! While I feel good at the plate, and for the most part I'm swinging at good pitches, something's missing...I'm getting under too many pitches and I'm slicing them which is making everything drift up and to the right side. Not exactly how I'd like to be driving the ball. I had much better at bats at the end of the China game and then against Cat Osterman of the US. I'll be looking to build off of that tomorrow for sure.

The best part of my sport is that it's such a game of failure. That's also the worst part. When you hit 3 out of 10 times, you're an all-star. I'll need to get a couple over the next few games to get up to that level but the important thing for me to remember at this point is that I'm fully capable of doing it and I've done it so many times before. Every time I get to the plate I have to clear out my past at bats and think of all the good swings I've taken. Easier said than done...Working out of a slump just takes that one big hit (and I'm looking forward to it!!)  So here's to attacking at the plate and coming out with a dominating performance tomorrow over Venezuela. Team Canada has earned a sleep in and will be back in action tomorrow night at 7:30pm. It promises to be a big one. The last two times we played Venezuela, we won 1-0 in a very strong pitchers' duel. Here we go Canada: Game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

Games Two and Three...

I never thought I'd have the opportunity to post half way through a game. But here I am, in the middle of a game against the USA, writing my blog! After handling the Netherlands 9-2 yesterday, Team Canada Softball came out to an early 1-0 lead in the bottom of the 1st against the United States. Unfortunately the weather chose to put a damper on our game and it was suspended twice because of severe thunderstorms. We were delayed for about an hour initially, played out another inning, and then play was cancelled altogether. The game was stopped in the top of the fourth inning with a full count on their leadoff hitter.

Tomorrow morning we will play China at 9:30am as scheduled. After Japan and the US play at noon, we will finish our last four innings against the US. A little strange...but we are more than ok with the set up. Our team has done a great job this whole season of handling adversity. Whether it's bad weather, injuries, line up changes, umpire calls, lost luggage...bring it all on! The key for us will be to shelf the US game and focus one hundred percent on the Chinese. That shouldn't be hard to do. We have had a heated rivalry with this team for as long as I can remember. Since losing 1-0 to them at World's in 2006 it seems that every game has been a bitter battle. We're looking to be the victor tomorrow, which would put us one step closer to being in the top four in this tournament heading into the playoff round.

It's time to head back to my room and rest up for what is sure to be a long one tomorrow. Thank you very much for all the posts and messages :) Please check out www.gtaathletes.com There is a photo gallery there with great pictures of all the Durham athletes competing in the Games.

Big day for Canada tomorrow. Thanks for all the luck and of course for cheering along with us!

Here we go Canada: Game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

Game One In The Books

Team Canada's first game of these Olympics has come and gone...We took Chinese Taipei 6-1 in the opening game of the tournament. We hit very well as a team and played some solid defense. 

I slept pretty well last night considering my nerves started early. My roommate and I watched a movie with the intention of falling asleep to it. Needless to say that didn't happen. We got up early, went for breakfast and made our way to the field with the help of a police escort. Normally the ride takes us 25 minutes when we go to practice. Today, with the escort, it took 40! Go figure :) Sitting on the bus for an extra 15 minutes was exactly what we all wanted to do when all we could think about was getting on the field.

Warm up went great! Really great! I was swinging well...bunts and slaps were working...I felt confident. We moved over to the main stadium for line drills, got our uniforms on and it was time to go. When I stepped in to the box for my first at bat, I was pretty tight and all my pre-game confidence went out the window. I was nervous, trying to "walk the walk" so to speak. If you were able to see the game, you'll know I didn't have great at bats. I was one for four, although I'd like tsn to replay that bunt that I got called out on long enough for the umpire to watch again (haha just kidding!)

The thing is that no matter how much we prepare, how many mental training sessions we have, when it came down to it we just have to get out there and play. Sure we were a little shaky at times but we put together a solid outing against one of the top 8 teams in the world--not too shabby! We had 11 hits to their 2, made no errors in the field and Lauren and Robin combined for double digit strike-outs. My high school lacrosse coach, Mrs. Curtis, posted that I should swing for the fences and run like the wind. I had the second part down today ;) Tomorrow I'm committed to being that much more relaxed, swinging at the strikes (instead of the balls like today!) and definitely getting my hack off early in the count. I'll be thinking of you when I get on base Curtis!

We have our first win of the tournament. It feels great and we are exactly where we wanted to be heading into tomorrow. Now we have to think of the only game that matters...the next one. We play the Netherlands tomorrow night at 7:30pm. While our win today was exciting and well deserved, the moment was fleeting and we're already on to game two. Here we go Canada: Game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

Twas the Night Before The First Game...

Team Canada Softball was back on the field for a light workout today after being rained out yesterday. Thunderstorms and lightning kept us off the field so we have our fingers crossed that no more rain will come our way. We had a great workout today and feel energized and ready. As I write this I can hardly believe that tomorrow I will compete in the Olympic Games...WOW!

When I found out I made the team in October of last year I was so wrapped up in the excitement of being named that I didn't think about the performance that would be required. I was recuperating from an ankle injury, I was tired from our tryout and I was so happy that I was named to the roster. I spent many months working away in the cage, running in the halls of my old high school, and training at the gym. I trained knowing I had lots of time to prepare, lots of reps to take. Here I am on the eve of my first Olympic challenge and there's no time left. It's finally arrived. Luckily for me, I have some great teammates to lean on and an experienced coaching staff who has a pretty good idea what we're all feeling. While I'm nervous and I'm sure my stomach will "turn on" in time for our pre-game warm-up tomorrow, I know one thing: I am prepared. I've said it so many times but preparation is a truly amazing tool. Whenever I get the opportunity to speak to an elementary school class I always try to reinforce that no one can work hard enough. I've never heard of an Olympian saying they were too prepared for their event...it just doesn't happen. Practice gives you confidence and repetitions allow you to trust your skills. Tomorrow when I go into battle with Chinese Taipei, I'll take the field knowing that all the time and energy I put in in the off season is finally going to pay off. 

For the rest of the evening I'll head back to our apartment, watch a movie, catch some of the competition on TV and prepare for our scouting meeting. I'm not sure whether I'll be able to sleep tonight or not. It's already feeling like Christmas Eve. I use to have the hardest time as a kid because I always wanted to stay up and catch Santa Claus. Needless to say I would wake up on December 25th and realize he'd snuck by me again! Tomorrow morning I will wake up and it will hit me: I get to play today! While I'm excited for the opportunity I'm still anxious for everything the moment will hold.

Our sports psychologist Ken always tells us "The Time is Now, The Place Is Here". I've been soaking up every second of this Olympic experience so far. Tomorrow is what counts-the performance. It will be a time to let go of all the nerves, forgive all the mistakes and focus on the opportunities, the good at bats, the solid defensive plays. It will be a time to celebrate playing a sport I love...because really, we've waited and prepared for this moment and finally--The Time is NOW, the place is HERE.

Team Canada will be taking on Chinese Taipei tomorrow morning at 9:30am. I've been told the game will be aired live on tsn so please tune in August 11th at 9:30pm EST (hopefully that's right but check the TV guide channel just in case :)

Here we go Canada: Game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

The Opening Ceremonies

There's a lot of hype around the opening ceremonies. Your country will be presented to the world, you'll parade into a stadium of people and you will finally have arrived at the Olympic Games. What people can't tell you, is what it will mean to you to be a part of it...

Team Canada Softball had a great day getting ready for the ceremonies. We laughed and joked around as we got all "urban chic" in our apartments. There were side pony tails, big hoop earrings, accessories that we would never normally throw on. We took a ton of pictures (which I promise to post eventually!) and then headed outside to join in the festivities. We met the rest of the Canadian team members walking in the ceremony outside at 6pm. Unfortunately not everyone gets to walk because a lot of athletes start their competition today. Others choose not to (and after being out there until 1am I understand why). The Canadian team had a debriefing and lots of photo opportunities until about 6:30pm. Then we walked to the bus and were transported over to the Gymnastics Complex where we were housed until it was our turn to walk. We sat there until 8:30pm. While it might sound boring to sit in a stadium for two hours (and yes at times it was) the atmosphere was electric. The team had heard about the insane number of fireworks displays ahead of us and we knew this was going to be a show to remember. We were so anxious to get out there and be a part of it. A big screen on top of the gymnastics floor started reading off countries and slowly, one by one, countries began to exit the facility on their way to the bird's nest. The Nest is in effect, the track and field stadium. Finally number 63 flashed...that was us! It was our turn! We cheered, made our way to the outside of the stadium and waited another hour and a half in line. Clearly no one told us that "hurry up and wait" was going to be the theme of the night.

It felt as though all of a sudden we were in the tunnel. We could see a small opening to the field and knew that our time was near. Our flag bearer, Adam Van Kouverdan did a great job of keeping everyone pumped up. His arms must have been exhausted because he was waving the flag all over the place, letting everyone take pictures of it, and we hadn't even got onto the track yet. All of a sudden claps started...they built slowly until the entire Canadian team was in unison. It was like a movie--I swear as corny as it may sound--I had goosebumps. Then we started singing Oh Canada as loud as we could. We were the next team to come out onto the track and we were definitely the loudest. We were told later that the crowd could hear our clapping and singing before they even saw us (good job Canada!). Being part of that moment was a highlight for me. The camaraderie I felt with my softball teammates and then with the entire Canadian delegation is something that I will cherish from these Olympics. It was really just so COOL to be a part of.

When we got on to the track we went crazy. We waved, we laughed, we smiled and we jumped up and down. While my mom and family watching at home have told me that the softball team wasn't shown on CBC apparently there were good clips of us on the French network. Good job Radio Canada! I'm so glad my family got a chance to see us walking in. I took a million pictures once we made it half way around the track. I wanted the first half to be for me. It was a moment to share with my teammates and soak in as much of the craziness as I could. Once we got on to the center of the track it was hurry up and wait all over again. We watched as the rest of the 206 countries made their way on to the field. Afterwards there were a number of fireworks displays. Over 28000 fireworks were lit. Amazing!!!! This was followed with the athlete's oath, the judge's oath and the flag raising. Then my second favorite part...the torch lighting. When they raised the athlete up onto the roof I honestly gasped for air. He ran around the roof of the stadium, suspended in the air and lit the torch. I couldn't believe my eyes. If you missed this part of the ceremony, youtube it! It is really a sight to behold.

Then before we knew it, we were done. We were shuttled back to the village, and sent off to bed. Our first Olympic highlight was over. No more hurry up and wait. I couldn't fall asleep right away. I was trying to digest everything I'd seen, everything I'd been a part of. I have always been told that opening ceremonies means different things to different people. For me, the sense of camaraderie and the amazement at the attention to detail and special effects are feelings I will hold with me always. I can't describe it any better...it was truly just an AMAZING experience.

Today Team Canada Softball is back in action. We have a practice this afternoon and a lifting session to complete. We've had some fun and now it's time to get down to business. Canada: game ON!

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

Lessons in Adversity

Our first two days in the village have been everything I hoped they would be. Now that we're sporting our new HBC gear, team Canada softball is looking good and ready to go! We are all big fans of the new clothes (and I'm not under any pressure to actually write that!) Yes they're flashy, but they're really comfortable and definitely recognizable. You can always spot the Canadians in the crowd. Most of the line is inspired by Chinese symbolism and the five elements. It's amazing how much detail is put in to every piece. I would encourage you all to watch the opening and closing ceremonies--just for our outfits alone. We're going to look pretty good I think. From what we've been told, it's supposed to be "urban chic". I don't know that I've ever fit that category before but hey, there's a first time for everything...

We've had a pretty hectic schedule of lifting and training over the past two days. It's been nice to be out on the field, get the bugs out and get ready for action. The thing is, getting the bugs out may be a little harder than we'd anticipated. So far everything I've written in my blog has been extremely positive. Don't get me wrong, things are going well and we're having a great time. But when it comes down to it, we're here to compete and losing is failing. We had a practice today at the main stadium. Fendai softball complex has four diamonds and all the Olympic games will be played on the main stadium field. The other fields will be used for warm-up. Being on the main stadium field was a pretty big deal. It was supposed to be our primary tune-up before the Games. Unfortunately we didn't put our best foot forward. Sure, there were moments of brilliance...great plays here and there...but there were also some flat out bad ones. Usually this wouldn't matter. You learn pretty quickly in a sport like softball to shrug things off and move on to the next play. We play one pitch at a time for a reason. But today things were different...there was a sense of urgency. There was a panic of "We're at the Olympics and if we aren't perfect what's going to happen". It hit me today that clearly this experience is going to be what we make of it. It's not going to be all rainbows and sunshine, and we're good enough that it's not going to be a blowout. Finding a balance between our expectations and our performance level and managing our mental game is going to be key over the next two weeks. We all know we can perform, but when things start to go wrong, will we panic as we did today and continue to spiral, or will we make a change for the better?

As soon as we got on the bus to head back to the village, I think everyone felt lighter. The practice was behind us, and yes we were all thinking of the moments of brilliance we had. It's going to be a rough road and we can't get derailed by the smallest of speed bumps. Our sports psychologist Ken always tells us that we should bring on the adversity. Bad weather, poor diamonds, bad calls...bring it all on. Today's practice was a great reminder of how we can be our own worst enemies. We had great conditions, a beautiful field, and no umpires to argue with...yet we were able to create our own adversity. Tomorrow we have opening ceremonies and in effect an off-day. The following day we will head back to the field, with our lessons from today tucked away.

I'm one of those people who can put a positive spin on pretty well anything. I truly believe that if the pieces all come together and we meet our expectations of coming home with a medal, today's practice will be one of the key elements to our success. We are going to have to fail and bounce back more times than I care to think about over the next two weeks. So bring on the adversity...because Team Canada Softball is more than ready to take our hacks at it.

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20

PS- Opening ceremonies are tomorrow!!!! Can't wait :)

The Village

What a whirlwind!! Team Canada Softball arrived at the Olympic Village late last night. We unpacked, ate quickly and headed straight to bed. Waking up this morning and getting to tour around was quite an experience. We live in a complex with huge apartment buildings. There's a beautiful zen garden just outside the Canadian apartments, international zones with cafes, arcades, gyms and of course a huge cafeteria. I'd heard a lot about the village in Athens and expected this place to be massive but honestly, it's bigger than anything I could have imagined. It's no wonder we are so well prepared not to let living in the village become a daunting experience. There are so many corporate sponsors with booths, free gift bags, food samples everywhere...there's a lot to take in. There's also a lot of distractions...other teams, training, touring, picture taking, celebrities. You can feel like a small fish in a very big pond.

The best part of this experience so far is realizing that we are a team within a team. There are 300 athletes here that will represent Canada over the next three weeks. We live in three apartment buildings together, share a common athlete lounge and of course, we all dress alike. The softball team has the HBC clothing staging this afternoon and man are we excited to get our gear!!! It's such a comfort to walk through this place and see someone else from Canada. Whether you know them or not, you say hi and immediately start up a conversation because hey we are Canadian...and let's be real, we are that nice to each other! Everyone is really supportive in the apartment too. I've only been here for a day but already we're having a team flag raising ceremony for all the Canadians that have arrived. Team Canada is really putting it's mark on this village. All the support staff have been great and they've done such a good job of making us feel as comfortable as possible heading in to competition. For example, there's a wellness center, a physiotherapy clinic, a kitchen, internet access, TVs and dvd players all within our athlete lounge.

Now that all the distractions are out of the way (hardly!!) Team Canada Softball will be getting down to business. We have our first practice at the Olympic venue tonight. It's the same field we had our World Championships on in 2006 and where we played China Cup last fall, in 2007. It's going to be nice to be back out there and feel comfortable on the diamond.

While I'm here I will have internet access (clearly!). I'll do my best to let you know what we're going through in the village, how training is going and how our games are shaping up once we start. Opening ceremonies are in two days and I've been guaranteed that it will be a highlight. I know I've said this before but thank you to all the family and friends who are sending emails and words of encouragement. We don't get a ton of time online otherwise I would be answering you all right away. Know that I do get your messages and I read every one. I promise to get back to you once I get home. Just please know your words are so appreciated!

Time to get back to my room for a little downtime before staging and practice. I am so happy to be part of all this mayhem. A dream come true...

Yours in Softball,

Erin #20